Sexual Errors in Netflix's Sex Education
While often the show does get it right, there are a few moments where Netflix’s Sex Education succumbs to classic societal misinterpretations of sex and sexual pleasure. All-in-all, the story promotes healthy sexuality and sexual interaction while portraying the struggles of teens as they discover who they are (including their sexual identity). Here, however, are a few places they didn’t get it quite right.
Birds & Bees
1. The character of Jean describes sex to her adolescent son as “when a man puts his penis inside a woman’s vagina.” This is exactly the same birds and bees talk I received, but it’s problematic. If she were a normal parent, I’d give it a pass. But she’s not. She’s a sex therapist. This information is inaccurate as it truncates the sexual act to intercourse. Scientifically, sex is anything that can give someone STIs or get a woman pregnant. This includes a lot more than intercourse. There’s also a patriarchal lens here, as most women receive sexual pleasure from experiences outside of intercourse while most men receive the most pleasure from intercourse. Describing sex as the act that gives the most pleasure to men contributes to a patriarchal perspective of sex.
Clitoris
2. Jean gives a training to women about the vulva. They do accurately name the anatomy of women “down there” as the vulva, not just the vagina, avoiding another common error. The vagina is the hole where the baby comes out, but the vulva encompasses the entire area. However, she names the clitoris as the little bulb we can see. Which is actually the clitoral gland. The clitoris is much larger and all-encompassing than just that bulb beneath the lid. We often call this the clitoris as it’s the easiest thing to access and the only part we can see. But it’s not the whole clitoris.
This means that the character Ofglen in Handmaid’s Tale can still experience sexual pleasure even though the government removed her clitoral gland. We’re glad the totalitarian society was as ignorant about sexual organs as the rest of us.
Vaginismus
3. Vaginismus is a very painful condition for a lot of women that often completely inhibits penetration. And it doesn’t typically go away after a fun bike ride down a hill. While it’s great the character of Lilly recovers so quickly after learning to have a little fun. Many women struggle with vaginismus their entire lives.
(Note: they do pick this subject back up again in season 2)
I can chalk the rest of the inconsistencies and errors up as drama for entertainment’s sake. If Hollywood is going to choose entertainment or accuracy, they will probably choose entertainment every time. Jean, the sex therapist, crosses some pretty major ethical and professional lines. She befriends one of her clients and also researches her son for a book without his permission.
However, the show is a heartwarming cascade of sexual struggles and friends helping friends overcome one of life’s most confusing developmental seasons. They address sexual trauma, bullying, and the difficulties of someone of marginal sexual orientation. There’s a sex-positive message and solid communication that someone should never perform sexual acts that make them uncomfortable, even if they are trying to please their partner. The story advocates for transparency and communication. There’s also one pivotal scene where an asexual girl asks a sex therapist if she is “broken.” The therapist responds that sex doesn’t make a person whole and it doesn’t make a person human, “so how could you be broken?”
While the show is about sex, it most definitely communicates that sex is not all there is to life, and people are so much more than their sex life or sexual identity.
Despite the few errors, I’d recommend the show.
Here are some resources that might help with sex education and understanding:
Becoming Clitorate by Dr. Laurie Mintz
The Goop Lab on Netflix. Episode Three The Pleasure is Ours
Sex, Love & Goop on Netflix
Six Minute Sex Ed podcast from Kim Cavill