The Enneagram Three in Me

I cannot be dedicated wholly and completely to one profession. I need the relief from one by pouring myself into the other.

            For as long as I can remember, I’ve had multiple jobs at a time. Be it working while in school. Writing a novel while working. Searching for a new job or applying for school, while writing a novel, while working. Or, genuinely having two or more jobs at the same time. When it’s time to focus on one or the other, I throw myself into it. The only way to remove myself from my immersion in my work, is to immerse myself in a different work.

            Therefore, I believe I will always have two, or more, jobs. Even if only one of them compensates monetarily.

            There are several benefits I can see to this. One, I’m prevented from having my whole identity wrapped up in one role. As someone who tends to find their identity in what they do—what they produce—it’s important to have something to turn to when one profession isn’t producing the way I desire. Since I tend to allow whatever work I’m undertaking to consume me, the call of the other work pulls me out of my job trance, allowing me some relief by giving me something different to focus on.

            It also prevents me from becoming bored or burnt out with any one thing.  

            A drawback is, what affects me in one profession can spill over and affect me in the other. For example, when I’m in an emotionally taxing season in one role, it can take a bite out of the creativity and enthusiasm applied to the other role. If I feel like I’m drowning in one work, it can leave me depleted and exhausted for the other work.

            Conversely, when I’m experiencing growth and creativity in one role, it supplies fuel for the other roles. Energy for one equals energy for all.

            With all of this work, I’ve found it’s healthy for me to have a few things with no goal attached, guarding whatever it is from becoming one more thing I need to take to the next level. Yoga, meditation, and regular exercise serve as purely enjoyable, something I’ve rigorously guarded against turning into anything more than thirty minutes or an hour with no ambition beyond enjoyment. Though I’ve contemplated obtaining a yoga certification for years, I’ve deliberately shut the musing down. I will not let this be another something I turn into an achievement.

            It’s important to learn how to just be. Especially since the modern western world is designed for people like me. Just be…present. Alive. Awake. Grateful. Angry. Sad. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Excited. Terrified. Happy.

            I cried when I heard the words from Sleeping at Last’s Atlas: Enneagram 3 song,

I only want what's real
I set aside the highlight reel
And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk
Worthy of love anyway

Here are two podcast episodes that soothed the Enneagram Three in Me 

Writing Excuses 15.20 Mental Wellness and Writing 

For the Love: Enneagram Threes – Lisa Whelchel on The Achievers