Codependence

Why do we shame women for codependence? Afterall, we’ve been conditioned for codependence since birth. We are programmed to consider everyone’s emotions and desires above our own and that any decisions made for our own wellbeing or pleasure are selfish.

Rather, what if we tossed out the podcasts and books that tell us to, “Stop being so codependent already!”? What if we acknowledged that elevating the thoughts and feelings of others (especially of men and authority figures) kept us safe? It helped us survive. What if we approached that part of us with compassion and understanding?

What if we acknowledged that caring for others is a GOOD thing, a gift we bring into the spaces we enter?

Then, what if we said to those codependent parts, “We’ve been taught to care for people, but we are people too. We deserve the same care and attention we are always giving others.” What if we gave ourselves the care and compassion we deserve, even if no one else is giving it to us, even if those around us (including ourselves) think we are being selfish?

With the clients I work with, we partner in approaching the unwanted thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with compassion, acknowledging how those things served us by keeping us safe. We thank those parts for the role they played in our survival. We work to create the space in their life so those thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can take a break, maybe even retire completely if they are no longer serving. Codependence isn’t a dirty word. It was a friend we needed for a season. Maybe it’s time to let that season come to a close, with all the thanks and compassion for the hard work our bodies have done and are doing.

If you’re interested in working with me, you can reach out HERE.