Why Women Downplay Their Gifts

You are not bragging when you share your credentials, experience, and skills in an interview. You are engaging in a partnership with the prospective employer, discovering if your giftings will be a good fit for the organization and if the organization will be a good fit for you, allowing you to continue to grow in your skills and experience.

 Culture teaches women to downplay their gifts. Indeed, I used to think I’d get points in interviews for being “humble.” After a few months with a coach, I walked into interviews determined to discover if what I was good at (which happens to be a lot of things) was a good fit for the organization and if the organization was a good fit for me. I asked informed questions and answered questions in a way that let organizations know how I would benefit their company. I was no longer afraid to confidently show them how I would be an asset, because I WAS an asset, and believed it deeply in my bones.

However, I recognize the role trauma plays in my inclination toward making myself small. In addition to all the demeaning cultural messages (overt and covert) women receive about their value, I had a dark angel of cult and evangelical influence buzzing around my head, chanting that I had no reason to dare to want respect, to think I could have a successful career, or expect to make sufficient income to live a comfortable life on my own. 

 I understand the many extra barriers a survivor of trauma has to hurtle in order to believe they can tackle anything that comes their way. To get to a place where they believe if they don’t know how to do something, they can learn. To believe they have a right to interview the organization as much as the organization is interviewing them, where they are working with the organization to make an informed decision TOGETHER.

Want support on your journey? Consider working with me!

 Bonus info: what you see in the interview is a tip of the iceberg. If the company is disorganized in the interview process, the company will be even more disorganized when you work there. Poor communication? The communication will only get worse when you’re hired. If they treat you with disrespect in the interview process, you can believe they won’t respect you when you work there. Figure out what you like and don’t ignore what you don’t like.

 Want support on the journey? Reach out HERE